If you are easily offended just scroll down to comment and leave a message about how I am going to hell. It will save you time and your life will be a little brighter for not having read this. Oh and what are you doing reading my blog anyway?
For those of you still with me. Today celebrates zombie Jesus and fertility. Kind of an odd combination, but really amusing when you think about it. If nothing else it lead me to a fun christian site declaring Easter the work of Satan, then again so is Christmas, so I am not going to worry to much about it. The pagans already had all the good holidays by the time the christians showed up, so you can't really blame the christians for hijacking them.
Anyway back to zombie Jesus, having the extremely vivid imagination I do, I picture zombie Jesus leading an army of egg laying bunnies to destroy humanity. Not exactly the zombie apocalypses I normally picture, but you need to be prepared for any contingency. My neighborhood has a lot of bunnies, so the bunny zombie apocalypse is going to get ugly, but that is what the shotgun is for. Unfortunately I was kind of counting on them as food, but I am not eating zombie bunny.
Here is one to really horrify everyone. So what is the proper way to celebrate fertility? Humping of course. The other thing being celebrated is a zombie and zombies are dead. So combine the two and what do you get? That's right. You know what it is I will not type it here. And for you real sickos you can add in animals. I will just let you ponder that thoughts on this lovely holiday.
On a more non-offensive note it leads to chocolate bunnies and the most delicious substance on earth, Reese's peanut butter eggs. After long discussion I have come to the conclusion the peanut butter eggs are better than the cups do to the higher peanut butter to chocolate ratio. I am having Liz raid the grocery stores tomorrow for half price peanut butter eggs.
So happy "Resurrection Sunday" to the fundamentalist christians, happy Easter to the moderate cristians and pagans (apparently Easter is one of the pagan names for the mother goddess), and happy zombie Jesus day to all the lolzians out there. I am listing lolzian as my religion next time it asks on a form. So enjoy your rituals, female oppression, cannibalism and fertility, but if you come after my flesh or brains you are getting some lead.
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Killer Bunnies! Time to play
ReplyDeletehaha, just read this
ReplyDeleteI'm also late to comment on this but I just had to add that Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs might be the best things on the planet. I want them available all year round but I guess it's good that they're not because then I might eat them until I explode. And that would be gross.
ReplyDelete